Update on Past Tense Post

Good morning Beuatiful People,

I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience. I have just discovered that I had not saved the edited version of yesterday’s post (Past Tense Dies) before publishing.

The final version is now waiting for your discerning eye and comments. šŸ˜‰

Thank you so much for understanding.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Allow happiness!

Tandi

FLASH! PAST TENSE DIES YESTERDAY

Good morning, Beautiful People!

As soon as I integrate an emerging aspect of the self, a new one pops up, screaming to be recognized, hugged and invited to flourish in my awareness. I wholeheartedly welcome each one in spite of the difficulties involved in supplanting destructive beliefs.Ā  Difficulties challenge my resistance to freedom from past tense thinking, feeling, speaking and doing. And yes, past tense-based intentions also!

Purpose of past tense

Generically speaking, past tense informs you that something has already happened. It is a finished product. Therefore, it can never be altered or undone. I was, you did, it happened. Thoughts, words, intentions, events or acts can never ever revert back to an unexpressed idea; just as a timepiece does not rewind itself; just as the thing born can never return to gestation. Time appears gradually to subtract life from the subject, to diminish possibilities. Not true of course unless you believe it!

Time for me is a mental concept: a sequential emergence of intention, speech, situations, growth, creativity and awakening. Nothing moves forward or backwards because in the static now moment is a continuous emergence of ideas called forth into physical form via an infinite number of sustained intentions.

So past tense is essentially a reference library to facilitate clear communication or simply to entertain. Otherwise, you misuse the faculty of memory with endless reruns of past events, wishes, regrets and fantasies.

Abusing the past

You become so amorous with memories that you ignore the opportunities and resources (to materialize your current intentions) that are already here in this moment. In order to feel alive, you embellish delusions and collect pity or adulation to avoid autonomy. You incessantly exhume the ā€œgood ā€˜ole daysā€, hoping they will miraculously rise from the dead. Or you drag listeners into a scenario of a hapless victim enduring extreme suffering. Oh my, woe is me! Why? Victims get exempted from responsibilities!

living in the past

Digging up memories

But feasting on yester thoughts destabilizes the body and starts the withering process. Look and you will sense similitude between past tense dwellers and dilapidated shacks. This is one of the major causes of chronic loneliness, paranoia and feelings of alienation from the self. You tend to make other people responsible for your misery or happiness when, in fact, it is unconsciously self-inflicted or contrived.

Eventually though, you grow weary of aimlessly wandering around with your head turned 180%, expecting to find happiness in the graves of your mind. You want congruence, inclusion, to be an authentic participantĀ  in this world. You want to be true to yourself, to see what that truth IS for YOU. And you can, starting nowā€¦if you can accept challenges as a fundamental instrument for growth and success.

Sometimes challenges disguise themselves as omnipotent enemies or strings of disappointing situations or phantom lovers. More vigilant than flees, they hound you day and night; and no amount of intellectual trickery can wipe them out. Their sole objective is to dismantle a primal instinct to hide from your own mischief. Challengesā€”oneā€™s own innate volitionā€”ā€˜forceā€™ you to see how YOU are totally responsible for the minutiae you experience. You will draw unto you that which is aligned with your current state of being. And you alone decide that state.

Putting past tense to rest

Within the now moment is the permanent opportunity to use all the fresh ideas you can in any way you want to. No questions, no prerequisites, no judgment whatsoever, except your own resistance to live fully, freely and joyously, which can only happen in the now. Then why do you flee from the actions you want to take? You are clinging to self-limiting beliefs formulated from direct or indirect experiences. That is why you are easily distracted and (like a hopeless addict) engage in activities that sap your energy. You procrastinate. Your fear-based beliefs prevent you from committing to your intentions. They cripple your attempts to persist, concentrate on and complete best actions. That said, Do not despair! I have discovered in myself a process that is working for me.Ā  Allow me to share this with you.

In order to accept and love yourself as you are, you first must understand, approve of and love who you were and the past as it was. (Warning: Self-deception does not work here.)

Acknowledge the facts about every scenario that comes to mind. Accept what the past and you, were, not are. Step aside and observe the thoughts and emotions that surface. Neither resist nor drag them on, opting for self-pity. Let them surface and dissolve naturally.

Follow your intuitive thread and see how you played your part in creating and responding to your reality. Writing down your insights enables you to see deeper that you were 100% responsible, as every person involved is totally responsible for their part.

Layers of emotions will surface. Let them. Remember to allow. Do not attempt to control or prove anything. Do not put a time limit on this process. Revisit each step as many times as required to reach clarity.

Have compassion and forgive yourself, everyone and everything involved UNTIL you transcend the habit of judging (an escape from responsibility) and reach complete clarity on your total participation in a past reality. It only reflected your inner state of being at that time. The beliefs, habits, self-image that you brought into this lifetime spilled over into your childhood and beyond. Accept and learn from these. They are clues to complete healing.

At some point, you will discover there is nothing to forgive after allā€”it was an experiment toĀ  point you towards the self that you came here to expose to the world in your own magnificent way.

Allow yourself to completely accept and love the past and yourself as you were. There is nothing mushy or dramatic about this. It happens naturally as you surrender to what was.

Appreciate yourself, everyone, everything involved in your yester momentsā€”how perfectly ordered, loving, liberating the universe is; how you are free to create any experience you can imagine, always reflecting your state of being, the place in which you stand in awareness of the self.

Be grateful for the opportunity to experiment in playing the game of life as you see fit: discovering, awakening, unfolding more and more of the real you. Be grateful that past tense reality is not to be hoarded but to be releasedā€¦ deliberately.

Now you can love yourself deeply as you are. You can unconditionally share your love in thought, speech, intention, acts and attitude because you have achieved freedom from guilt, regret, blame, shame and arrogance. Your mind and body are present right here, right now. Everything you want is surrounding you. No more waiting, hoping, conniving. Limitless opportunities and possibilities, resources of every kind required, solutions, undiscovered ideas and ‘the right’ people surround you round the clock. Are you ready for this natural state of wealth and living?

When I approve of and accept myself as I was and for everything I did, then I can love myself as I am and enjoy what I am doing.

Tell me: what are your insights, experiences? I would enjoy hearing from you.

So post your comments below before you forget. And if you find something useful in this blog, why not subscribe so you can receive email notification each time I publish a post. Also, I would be highly honored if you recommended this blog to others who might benefit. Thank you in advance.

Men Readers: Your comments are valuable too & highly welcomed! ;-))

Shall we meet up again in a few days?

Until then,

Allow happiness!

Tandi

Image credit:Ā  Grave Digger, 3sigma.com

Copyright Ā© 2010-2012 Thandiwe Chappot, thefemininefeminineĀ®. All rights reserved worldwide.

Are You the Greatest Lover?

Good morning Beautiful People,

Did you know that the greatest lovers act alike. You can feel their presence before meeting them. They appear to do nothing but simply bask in their own love. You are drawn to them in spite of yourself. Their eyes and smile say, ā€œHi! Welcome home! I love you!ā€

Every flower and star, every animal and person, every piece of music and mechanical object that attracts your attention wants you to share your love with them. And equally you must. For they are a physical representation of an unconscious part of youā€”neglected or scorned or taken for granted. Now is the moment to notice, appreciate and to include those aspects of you disguised in various forms of living beings and things.

The greatest lover appreciates and gives totally of himself whether the receiver is sweet or sour, hot or bitterā€¦or bland in character. For he instantly sees his reflection in the receiver.

How can you become the greatest lover? Decide to. Decide to express the fullness of what you are: all-encompassing LOVE. So the question to pose is, ā€œDo I really want to love myself completely?ā€ If yes, then you must include every aspect of you that emerges in the now moment.

You can start by practicing the following suggestions.

Become vigilant in monitoring your habit to avoid sharing your love because you have judged yourself, another person or thing as undeserving, unworthy of consideration, forgiveness, happiness and inclusion. If you peek behind your judgment, you will see these dreaded qualities in others, in yourself. Remember, the only thing you love or hate is you.

Examples of judging can look like malicious gossip, revengeful acts, crashing the accomplishments of folks you envy, criticism, selective amnesia (deliberately omitting positive information), blatant rejection of a person in order to appear superior, powerful in the eyes of othersā€¦

Let go of the worldā€™s mesmeric idiocy that sharing love with one will prevent you from sharing with another. The more love you share, the more you will have to share. We are not speaking of sex here. Copulation is not synonymous with love, as you well know. Sharing love is an act of ultimate intelligence, self-awareness, spiritual maturity and authenticity. It is the broadest kindness and sincerity. It is respect and love of the self.

Mentally replace your ill speech reflex with I love you. This includes your thoughts, attitude, emotions, behavior, actionsā€¦ It is unimportant whether you feel love in the moment or not. You may even feel hateful. But IF your intention is to share what you are, all-encompassing Love, and to acknowledge, accept and include that part of you that is emerging, you will learn and outgrow your habit of self-rejection.

I Love My Selves

The benefits of being the greatest lover are freedom from cowardice, persistent joy and living a life overflowing with magnificent experiences in all directions. Because you are no longer engaged in ill speech in your head or with others, you will have a constant flow of energy and time will expand to accommodate your intentions. You will remain in your natural state of all-encompassing Love.

The greatest lover does not hide from any facet of herself. She places each in the center of her heart.

And you?

Tell me: what are your insights, experiences? I would enjoy hearing from you.

So post your comments below before you forget. And if you find something useful in this blog, why not subscribe so you can receive email notification each time I publish a post. Also, I would be highly honored if you recommended this blog to others who might benefit. Thank you in advance.

Men Readers: Your comments are valuable too & highly welcomed! šŸ˜‰

Shall we meet up again in a few days?

Until then,

Allow happiness!

Tandi

Image credit: onepeacefulword.wordpress.com

Copyright Ā© 2010-2012 Thandiwe Chappot, thefemininefeminineĀ®. All rights reserved worldwide.

Who Created This Stuff Anyway?

Good morning Beautiful People,

It goes to show that any little thing can momentarily thwart your plans though not your core intention! Rather than a text format, I had planned a first try to publish a video post. But instead, I contracted debilitating pneumonia-like symptoms that further deteriorated into acute laryngitisā€¦knocking me down on my knees for two months.

Time for Solitude

Medical results revealed a benign weakness in the lungs that got inflamed. Doctors recommended I tweak my diet, keep my body extra warm during cold weather and abort coughs at the start. Though not the least surprised, I was relieved to hear that I am disease free, as healthy as a wild horse!

The only reason I am yakking about my little problem is not to complain or elicit sympathy but to share an overview of the insights I gained during those weeks of excruciating discomfort. Is that not the purpose of sufferingā€”to lovingly jolt us into alert awareness of parts of ourselves we have ignored? Even though I was preoccupied with undergoing exams and tests for several days, a part of me observed in detached certainty that I would triumph. I knew, as countless times before, that I had to discover the original cause of my problem if I wanted to outgrow it.

From my podium: I alone create the life I live; no one else can alter or control it even if they wanted to. And neither can I interfere in anotherā€™s creation. elderly re coughing & false teeth

That is because every human being is responsible for constructing their experience on earth. You are continuously attracted to your own lifework reflected in circumstances, events and in all the ā€˜othersā€™ you notice. To explain: the point in which you stand in awareness is always perfectly played out in every detail of your existence. Otherwise, zero state of awareness would result in zero life experienceā€”inertia begets inertia. What a good thing! What freedom! How fun to create, ponder, learn and grow from the results and promptly invent fresh ideas. What a thrill to make new decisions and direct all four feet into the unknown!

Okay, how do I know that? I know because, so far, I have traced each of my challenges and current situation back to my own repetitive thoughts, emotions, beliefs, decisions and activities. I take full responsibility for every little or big thing that has ever ā€˜happened to meā€™, which includes prior events that allowed the perfect scenario for birth into this human form: from post-natal dramas to the seamless unfoldment of self, up through present timeā€¦all in divine sequence. I am the initiator, conceptualizer, principle player and every person, place or thing represents an aspect of me in some way. Yep, including the sweet, sour or bitter. Therefore, that which I have experienced within me beomes visible as my what-is reality. No exceptions!

But what if I dislike what I have manifested or forever want to keep it?

hop scotch woman

i can!

Before I respond, allow me to offer my interpretation of ā€˜what-isā€™ and ā€˜resistanceā€™.

What-is is a finished product, unalterable here now reality. Its origins emerge fromĀ  an individualā€™s thoughts and emotions and increase via countless other people on the same wavelength. In other words, your thoughts combine with the thoughts of every person of the same frequency. Included are sustained beliefs, speech, attitude, behavior, preferences and actions. What-is is the untouched-up physical exhibition of your inner lifework up til now.

Resistance is the expression of deeply engrained fearā€”rigid refusal to allow yourself and all other living beings and things their beingnessā€”to be authentic, true to self, to explore, create and grow in their own unique way. In the moment you are resisting, you are perceiving the appearance of separation around you, so you surmise that the universe is insufficient, prejudiced, haphazard or incomplete. You feel alone, terrified, vulnerable, in danger. Hence, competition, greed, hoarding and narcissism become the platforms from which you function.

Well, when you resist what-is, you are attempting to defile the perfectness of love expressing as life. Your first reflex is to mentally collate what-is into right or wrong, good or bad, keep or kill. Next, the delusional part of you tries to exert authority over others. Imagine:

Me, standing haughtily on a wimpy puff of clouds, blown across the skies by winds of whim and pettiness, peering down on a hapless mass of homo sapiens that are scratching the earth searching for approval, identity and purpose, begging me to control their destiny and to declare my assessment of their unworthiness.

To entertain the idea that you can hold on to or destroy what-is is a symptom of insanity. No? Look around in your infinite mind. Scrutinize your fickle emotions. What is the incentive for war? I am sure you will agree that no one is able to grasp a handful of fog, fold it flat and stuff it into your shirt pocket. Can you roll back five minutes of your life and relive it? Last weekā€™s happiness (and sorrow) is a stale and boring memoryā€¦like retelling the episodes of how you learned to sit on a potty chair. Let that memory die!

Are you courageous enough to invite your greater self to emerge today, in this very minute? Are you intelligent enough to decide for your own pleasure? Are you confident enough to allow YOU to express your ever-expanding beauty, wholeness, unique gifts and talents and have fun like a five year old? Do you respect and love yourself enough to laugh at the ignoramus comments from intimate others and do what you want to do anyway?

joyous living like a 5 yr old

Happy to be here!

I know you can because I am doing it. And I am you. But it is up to you and only you have the authority, time and free resources to live exactly as YOU please. I said, ā€œFreeā€ because everything you will ever need is already within youā€¦like the seeds of redwoods, like the eggs of people and animalsā€¦ The moment you decide, you will have started your new adventure: to live fully, freely and joyously. Have fun!

Tell me: what are your insights, experiences? I would enjoy hearing from you.

So post your comments below before you forget. And if you find something useful in this blog, why not subscribe so you can receive email notification each time I publish a post. Also, I would be highly honored if you recommended this blog to others who might benefit. Thank you in advance.

Men Readers: Your comments are valuable too & highly welcomed! šŸ˜‰

Shall we meet up again in a few days?

Until then,

Allow happiness!

Tandi

Image credit: minniepauz.com, cartoonstock.com, clipartof.com

Copyright Ā© 2010-2012 Thandiwe Chappot, thefemininefeminineĀ®. All rights reserved worldwide.

Chic Pavloviansā€”An Alternative

Good morning Beautiful People!

Part two of article, Chic Pavlovians, starts with a quote from the last post: ā€œWorse, they eagerly pay to be a guinea pig for experimental facial or whole body makeovers.ā€

Denatured!

Everything created has a lifespan. Everything crafted is destructible. Everything learned can be transmuted. Including your knee jerk reactions, your conditioned reflexes to join the chic clique of robot consumers and laboratory guinea pigs for the pharmaceutical industryā€¦remember Pavlovā€™s dogs? You can take back control of your mind by discovering your (not other folksā€™) values and priorities and act from that platform. Why dilute the richness of your original you by duplicating destructive personalities and behavior when being your authentic self is so effortless and extremely attractive and it lasts a lifetime?

You have chosen to discount your natural beauty, magnificent uniqueness and subject your delicate body to physical and psychological torture. So why do you shout, ā€œIā€™m a helpless victim! Feel sorry for me! Love this person I hate!ā€ Blaming incompetent or charlatan doctors for mutilating your flesh will not exonerate you from personal responsibility. It was your own volition to be a trial specimen. And it is only you who can decide to search the depths of your authentic self and discover your true identity, which has nothing to do with anyone else.

One woe-is-gullible-me strategy for avoiding responsibility is to ignore the dubious information your doctor prescribes or hideous work environments. Why behave as if your body belongs to someone elseā€¦like beasts marching to a slaughterhouse. Nature is beautiful in the eyes of its individuated selves but only human beings loathe their own anatomy to the extent they take extreme risks to resemble a 23 year old as much as cosmetically possible.

Note: If these surgeries were corrective or restorative interventions because of disease, accidents, birth defects or disfigurement from aggression, for examples, I would not be writing this article.

Now I also enjoy pampering and adorning my body (socially appropriate) while maintaining my individuality. It is a fun challenge and demonstration of physical awareness, artistry, beauty and sexual attraction. Hey! Is not every animal essentially alike! However, the idea to butcher and patch up my body like a fifth-generation quilt so that I can try to dupe folks into believing I am a rare bird that defies her age or closely resembles the current celebrity, is not at all my perception of elegance and authenticity.

The compulsion that drives you to hack off body parts, extract sections of innards like workers pumping out sewage or to inject or implant foreign matter without considering the consequences, emerges from strong self-contempt. Just as destructive is your decision to empty your cash reserves or forego basic necessities of living in order to purchase a persona so that you can compete for or maintain a life partner or job position. You are only chasing a perverse image of your self. And substituting material things and fake looks for self-awareness and self-respect will not bring you lasting happiness and will definitely not rid you of anxiety. Media adverts, reality or sob story talk shows, gossip news and billboard ads target people who would rather be anything but self.

Initially, you may wonder how you fell out of sync with authenticity. Well, you simply forgot your identity: a whole exquisite being that is born with every possible thing needed to flourish and live the most joyous, loving, creative, successful, fun, vibrant life beyond your imagination. You believe that happiness, beauty and freedom are commodities to sacrifice for; in fact, these qualities are already yours, whether you allow them to emerge from and through you or not. Your state of self-forgetfulness is not permanent thoughā€¦unless you lack the courage to know the real you.

Some questions to ask and answer for yourself:

  • Am I willing to get acquainted with the person Iā€™ve been living with from moment one?
  • When did I start to feel inferior, ashamed of my appearance? Natural talents? Original ideas? Deepest desires?
  • When was the last time I was authentic and true to myself for more than five seconds?
  • What in me makes me want to copycat people?
  • How can I stop following soulless crowds of robots?
  • When is the best time to strut my gifts, talents, elegance, and deliver my contribution on this planet?
  • Am I ready to experience the life of my dreams? Do I even know what that dream is?!
  • Whose opinion of me is more important than my own intuitive knowing?

Remember this: Everything created has a lifespan. Everything crafted is destructible. Everything learned can be transmuted. You can take back control of your mind by exploring the depths of your self, right here where you stand in life, right now this very day.

Did you know that when you stare into a mirror in order to see yourself, an image of the sweet, unpolluted beauty of your youth emerges? And when you sincerely accept and love this image, it will remain visible, a constant reminder of your fearless, joyous, confident self. First, it radiates through your face. When you are more receptive of you, your entire body will feel and appear to be more and more vibrant and youthful. So why wait? Try it now!

Sidebar: From time to time, I will recommend my favorite products and services. My purpose is NOT for any form of personal gain, rather to share good things with my treasured readers.

For the most deeeelicious, purest and highest qualityĀ organic coconut oil and a wide range of coconut products and merchandise on the Continent — swift delivery and professional service — speak English, French & German, go and visit La Maison du Coco ā€“ http://www.lamaisonducoco.fr.Ā  They regularly add new products so feel free to e-mail them for additional information. The recipes are simply yummy! You can also find them at the various health & well-being exhibitions in France.

Tell me: what are your insights, experiences? I would enjoy hearing from you.

So post your comments below before you forget. And if you find something useful in this blog, why not subscribe so you can receive email notification each time I publish a post. Also, I would be highly honored if you recommended this blog to others who might benefit. Thank you in advance.

Men Readers: Your comments are valuable too & highly welcomed! šŸ˜‰

Shall we meet up again in a few days?

Until then,

Allow happiness!

Tandi

Image credit: meditourists.com;Ā andertoons.com

Copyright Ā© 2010-2012 Thandiwe Chappot, thefemininefeminineĀ®. All rights reserved worldwide.

Chic Pavlovians

Good morning Beautiful People!

Sometimes, I am amazed when educated adults instantly latch on to crowd hysteria. Because shopping during the sales is not a leisure activity: it is an addictive stimulant as hazardous as a battlefield, physically and financially. That is why astute preparation is mandatory. You must have mental discipline and physical strength in order to withstand aggressive elbows, razor sharp dagger fingernails, gladiator attacks, insults from the enemy, high-jacking of your purchases and the fights over must-have items. So you can imagine that donning war gear is a matter of life or death! Here is one version of how you can return home without incidence or with minimal injuries and loss of hair.

Sales Bell

To start, set your alarm clock to wake you 720 minutes before the shops open so that you will be the first to queue up for 25 hours in northern wind and rain, earthquake aftershocks and soup thick air pollution. Before heading for bed, get fully dressed (except for shoes) to save time. You will need VelcroĀ© sneakers because flip-flops or thongs will not last two seconds: the soles will get smashed flatter than a pancake and the thongs will go flying between a hoard of legsā€¦you might even find your feet missing a toe or two.

Next is the uniform: a pair of tattered jeans and T-shirt left over from the last sales, a worn out striptease bra and triple reinforced granny panties. Do not wear make-up; it will accentuate your swollen black eye. Omit hair jewelry as they could be used as weapons against you. Be sure to use heavy upholstery thread to attach your cash/bank card pouch to your pantiesā€¦on the inside. Otherwise, during a scuffle with the enemy–no rule is the ruleā€”you might end up arrested for indecent exposure.

Now to reach the summit of your shopping high, strut about with glaring haughtinessā€¦proud to advertise famous brands by displaying oversized shopping bags that are cleverly designed to instigate jealousy and competitiveness in others and to encourage compulsive spending. Have you noticed how loudly they crinkle to draw attention? Big bags suggest you have spent 3000ā‚¬ rather than 89ā‚¬. That is why small items are loosely wrapped in extra large sheets of tissue paperā€¦it stuffs the bag and gives it the appearance of fullness, which feeds your ego to appear privileged. Clever marketing, is it not?

Anyway, the seasonal sale promotion is nothing more than a highly effective marketing scheme to clear stock of stagnant or slow-moving merchandise. Have you noticed the normal price of standard articles? You will see that many are marked lower or at the same price of the on sale tag! Pay attention!

Back to the main point: Why do intelligent adults behave like Pavlovā€™s dogs?

According to various statistics over the years, women, slightly outnumbering men, are prone to compulsive shopping whether or not there are sales. They are apt to purchase objects to plug up holes of emptiness or to compensate for chronic dissatisfaction. Worse, they eagerly pay to be a guinea pig for experimental facial or whole body makeovers. Pharmaceutical and cosmetic medicine industries are in heaven! (I will elaborate on this in the next article.) To be fair, I do know of men who moonlight in order to make minimal payments on several almost maxed-out bank cards–they only wear haute couture and purchase the most expensive gadgets and pleasure technologies. So there you go.

Looking further, notice how people mindlessly trample over each other in a savage race to grab the most for the least. Only greed and arrogance can motivate you to ā€œoutsmart the merchant to get something for nearly nothing.ā€ However, scarcity fears push you to spend foolishly in order to obtain limited editions of must-have stuff so you will be in step with other robots and hated by those who have not the means.

But functioning like a robot is unconsciousness. You are allowing other people to direct your behavior, tell you how to live, dictate your values and interests. That is to say, you are a willing slave of consumerism. Therefore, you have masters in other areas of your life. You are obsessed by the affairs of folks who do not value your attention because you are uninterested in your real self.

I think I can think

Now celebrate playing this game of life in any fashion that suits you in the moment. Just be CONSCIOUS, DELIBERATE and HONEST with you. Soon you will tire of the slave role and take responsibility for your own life. That is all I am suggesting.

Tell me: what are your insights, experiences? I would enjoy hearing from you.

So post your comments below before you forget. And if you find something useful in this blog, why not subscribe so you can receive email notification each time I publish a post. Also, I would be highly honored if you recommended this blog to others who might benefit. Thank you in advance.

Men Readers: Your comments are valuable too & highly welcomed! ;-))

Shall we meet up again in a few days?

Until then,

Allow happiness!

Tandi

Image credit: 1) Ā© Mark Parisi, offthemark.com (from The Office – Rauno Villberg on Vimeo, shivaraichandani.blogspot.com); 2) Rene Baur 2001 oziserv.com/cleft

Copyright Ā© 2010-2012 Thandiwe Chappot, thefemininefeminineĀ®. All rights reserved worldwide.

A Brief On Procrastination

Good morning Great People!

In spite of hundreds of thousands of books, poetry, business courses and procrastinators anonymous groups that offer the final technique for overcoming ā€˜the curse,ā€™ procrastination continues to be one of the most prevalent plagues amongst homo sapiens, the supposedly most sophisticated lot in creation. Perhaps we can take a clue from our ā€œlesserā€ four-legged siblings by doing now what needs to be done now because there is no other time in which to do it. The challenge for us is we think too much. Otherwise, we would not procrastinate. Anyway, I want to tell you how I am converting ā€˜the curseā€™ into a guard rail to keep me aligned with my vision. But not before explaining my perception of this forbidden wordā€¦ here goes.

What is procrastination?

Time never flies backwards

Procrastination is an energy-draining emotion,Ā  melancholy, a feeling of dread of taking risks to be your authentic self. It is a mental retreat into mono-dialogues about long dead situations and people. Its goal is to prevent us from allowing the self to materialize its purpose. Because the moment we glimpse our vast potential, power and possibilities (only discernible in a state of awareness), we will be strongly tempted to transmute genuine longings into physical reality. During the process, we will awaken to another aspect of the self that is indestructible, fearless and limitless. We will exhibit real liberation and have an exponential influence in the advancement of humanity. But from a one-grain-of-sand perspective, this is scary.

For this reason, procrastination is disguised as preoccupations: consumerism, obsession with becoming a sex symbol, and an insatiable hunger for fame to feel special, adored and superior. It appears as irresponsible pregnancies, hypochondria or excessive entertainment. Worse are the addictions to manifesting dramas or crisis and to nosinessā€”overly involved in the affairs of others by way of monitoring adult children or engaged in celebrity gossip or reality shows or mean-spirited chatter about most of the others we encounter. We attempt to eradicate responsibility by mentally reconstructing the past in order to steal credit from others or by harboring morbid thoughts for hours on end.

Another word for procrastination is resistance. Here is where we flatly flip off our true but socially unacceptable feelings, preferences, gifts and talents. We risk our well-being in order to gain a few dubious compliments and invitations into the shallow elite club. But habitual hesitationā€”to do what we wantā€” bores big holes in self-confidence and compromises our immune system. We grow dull, slow and ineffective. Consequently, the urge to give away our gifts and talents by practicing and developing our skills gradually recedes into oblivion. And so does our experience of love, inspiration and fulfillmentā€”birthright luxuries that we expect to come to us rather than from us. We must give everything we have to offer in the moment in order to give more. As we give, we fling open a bottomless reservoir of gifts and talents to emerge from within us. Simultaneously, we are allowing the world to give to us exactly what we need. What a beautiful exchange! The more you give, the more ofĀ  life you will experience!

Where did procrastination come from?

As far as I know, no one is born a procrastinator–babies are totally present. And so are young children before they learn to reject their natural instincts. During early childhood, we are, unfortunately, conditioned either to discard our ideas or to wait until some date in a future before we can act on inspirationā€”but that day, for most, never arrives. Children are too often prevented from taking minimum risk to implement a concept that might upset the cart of familiarity. Our keepersā€™ disciplinary tactics train us to discredit or ignore our intuitive nature, mistrust the self and to develop blind faith in folks whose comprehension of self is questionable.

Children are conditioned to submit to intimidation, scarcity beliefs and shameā€¦and guilt, after disobeying. Fear of being ousted from home keeps rebelliousness at bay to a great extent. (By the way, getting ousted is not limited to income status.) Eventually our natural creative impulses and sense of invincibility descend deeply below the level of conscious access. So in order to earn a living, i.e., deserve to live via conformity (having the basic necessities of life and a sense of belonging), we instantly become master people pleasers, slaves of the whims and ill will of elder slaves we call family, friends and authority figures. The original plan for our life gets buried beneath inertia: the result of a habitual procrastinator.

Why do we procrastinate when we do not want to?

There is a tendency amongst adults to prefer a permanent position of receiver without contributing one iota to the motion of life. I call it adult toddler narcissism. But nature has never been stagnant. It pushes forward, upward to its fullest ever-expanding possibilities. Have you noticed how easily petit, delicate flowers push through a concrete sidewalk? They literally crack it open. Amazing! Imagine the dire consequences if these beauties had contemplated the weight of the mixture of gravel, sand, cement and water for even ten minutes. Hesitation would have killed an exquisite idea before its birth. Nothing in the universe (except you) can prevent you from bringing a clear, definite intention into physical manifestation.

Better to do what you love!

I have learned from bouts of battling against it that procrastination is not some armored enemy to kill off. In fact, it is nothingness. Eventually this self-inflicted habit will lead you to abandon trendy anti-resistance strategies and simply choose to do as you sincerely want to do and need to do, in order to nurture your soul, satisfy your creative impulses and to feel more of your own aliveness. Next, you must value happiness and freedom more than playing a puppet role. Finally, you have to start doing whatever it is that you have promised yourself.

However, it is absolutely necessary that you recognize subtle masks of inertia. I am sure some of these, if not all, will ring true for you or for someone in your circle. These masks have been gleaned from my personal experience and my coaching clients.

  • Avoiding the unfamiliar and giving your fear power by coddling a strong sense of unworthiness and self- contempt.
  • Terrified of dyingā€”thinking that the longer you put off doing what you intuitively know to do, you will prolong life in this body.
  • Worse than the fear of dying, is the possibility of seeing the glorious self, radiating through your physical form when you give undivided attention to the present moment or now.
  • Addicted to the frustration that emerges from avoiding responsibility and blaming ā€˜themā€™, racism, gender bias, the neighborā€™s barking dog or your partner’s snoring.
  • Refusing to accept that unfoldment is a process of coming into maturity and passing on (like clouds pushed by the winds) to give way to new experiences, which emerge from the consciousness of the individuals involved.
  • Preference for laziness and shallowness; to mistake mediocrity for greatness.
  • Scarcity beliefsā€”insufficient capacities, clients, money, opportunities, emotional support.
  • Quick to justify your stinginessā€”refusing to give what the present moment requires of you.
  • Defensive about breaking your promises to someone, which ultimately, is to yourself.
  • Daydreaming the day away, keeping busy and accomplishing nothing towards your dream.
  • Pretending not to see clearly what you are here on earth to be and to do.
  • A lack of unity of intention and attentionā€¦ā€a house divided against itselfā€ā€”your mind, body and actions conflict with your in-this-moment intention. Examples: (1) While listening to your party speak on the phone, you are reading and responding to e-mails, watching television or sorting laundry. (2) While doing your creative work, you interrupt yourself to listen to the news for two hours or telephone someone for a long chat or go window shopping or do maximum housecleaning or finish off 900 ml of ice cream ā€œbecause I deserve it.ā€
  • Habitually dreading doing what you have promised yourself can also reveal a lack of sincere interest in the subject. Time to examine what feels right to youā€¦ to hoot what others may think.
  • Fear of making mistakes or failing and inviting ridicule; therefore, valuing the opinions of others rather than your own knowing and needs.
  • Being where you are not wantedā€”in the cemetery of expired ideas and beliefs that fall way too short of present day requirements; or in the sanctuary of fantasy, excessive planning and inaction; or in your current reality that is contaminated by the invasion of references from the past rather than fresh pioneer ideas.

Is ā€œfeeling prohibitedā€ procrastination?

Feeling prohibited is procrastination if you are blaming your inaction on something outside of yourself or you are ā€˜not in the moodā€™ to or ā€˜do not feel likeā€™ doing it. Otherwise, this feeling of gentle hesitation, a soft pull to engage in another positive activity, could be your intuition making sure your intention unfolds with ease in divine sequence. This has happened to me countless times. My intentions did manifest easily with minimum effort.

Okay, one last wordā€¦

We are not condemned to a life of procrastination. Choice is available this second, right now. Crave to take the risk of being abandoned by relationships you value the most because you finally garnered enough self-respect to act on your behalf. Do not panic, you will always receive the support you need as you need it. Does it matter the channel that brings it to you? Crave to test drive your own potential on your private roadā€”you have the remainder of this lifetime to do it. So do it now! What are you waiting for, your last breath of regret and self-pity?

Tell me: what are your insights, experiences? I would enjoy hearing from you.

So post your comments below before you forget. And if you find something useful in this blog, why not subscribe so you can receive email notification each time I publish a post. Also, I would be highly honored if you recommended this blog to others who might benefit. Thank you in advance.

Men Readers: Your comments are valuable too & highly welcomed! ;-))

Shall we meet up again in a few days?

Until then,

Allow happiness!

Tandi

Image credit: Procrastination 101! from mdjunction.com; “ flaw that has causedā€¦ from redeemedsheep.com

Copyright Ā© 2010-2012 Thandiwe Chappot, thefemininefeminineĀ®. All rights reserved worldwide.