Good morning, Beautiful People!
As soon as I integrate an emerging aspect of the self, a new one pops up, screaming to be recognized, hugged and invited to flourish in my awareness. I wholeheartedly welcome each one in spite of the difficulties involved in supplanting destructive beliefs. Difficulties challenge my resistance to freedom from past tense thinking, feeling, speaking and doing. And yes, past tense-based intentions also!
Purpose of past tense
Generically speaking, past tense informs you that something has already happened. It is a finished product. Therefore, it can never be altered or undone. I was, you did, it happened. Thoughts, words, intentions, events or acts can never ever revert back to an unexpressed idea; just as a timepiece does not rewind itself; just as the thing born can never return to gestation. Time appears gradually to subtract life from the subject, to diminish possibilities. Not true of course unless you believe it!
Time for me is a mental concept: a sequential emergence of intention, speech, situations, growth, creativity and awakening. Nothing moves forward or backwards because in the static now moment is a continuous emergence of ideas called forth into physical form via an infinite number of sustained intentions.
So past tense is essentially a reference library to facilitate clear communication or simply to entertain. Otherwise, you misuse the faculty of memory with endless reruns of past events, wishes, regrets and fantasies.
Abusing the past
You become so amorous with memories that you ignore the opportunities and resources (to materialize your current intentions) that are already here in this moment. In order to feel alive, you embellish delusions and collect pity or adulation to avoid autonomy. You incessantly exhume the “good ‘ole days”, hoping they will miraculously rise from the dead. Or you drag listeners into a scenario of a hapless victim enduring extreme suffering. Oh my, woe is me! Why? Victims get exempted from responsibilities!
But feasting on yester thoughts destabilizes the body and starts the withering process. Look and you will sense similitude between past tense dwellers and dilapidated shacks. This is one of the major causes of chronic loneliness, paranoia and feelings of alienation from the self. You tend to make other people responsible for your misery or happiness when, in fact, it is unconsciously self-inflicted or contrived.
Eventually though, you grow weary of aimlessly wandering around with your head turned 180%, expecting to find happiness in the graves of your mind. You want congruence, inclusion, to be an authentic participant in this world. You want to be true to yourself, to see what that truth IS for YOU. And you can, starting now…if you can accept challenges as a fundamental instrument for growth and success.
Sometimes challenges disguise themselves as omnipotent enemies or strings of disappointing situations or phantom lovers. More vigilant than flees, they hound you day and night; and no amount of intellectual trickery can wipe them out. Their sole objective is to dismantle a primal instinct to hide from your own mischief. Challenges—one’s own innate volition—‘force’ you to see how YOU are totally responsible for the minutiae you experience. You will draw unto you that which is aligned with your current state of being. And you alone decide that state.
Putting past tense to rest
Within the now moment is the permanent opportunity to use all the fresh ideas you can in any way you want to. No questions, no prerequisites, no judgment whatsoever, except your own resistance to live fully, freely and joyously, which can only happen in the now. Then why do you flee from the actions you want to take? You are clinging to self-limiting beliefs formulated from direct or indirect experiences. That is why you are easily distracted and (like a hopeless addict) engage in activities that sap your energy. You procrastinate. Your fear-based beliefs prevent you from committing to your intentions. They cripple your attempts to persist, concentrate on and complete best actions. That said, Do not despair! I have discovered in myself a process that is working for me. Allow me to share this with you.
In order to accept and love yourself as you are, you first must understand, approve of and love who you were and the past as it was. (Warning: Self-deception does not work here.)
Acknowledge the facts about every scenario that comes to mind. Accept what the past and you, were, not are. Step aside and observe the thoughts and emotions that surface. Neither resist nor drag them on, opting for self-pity. Let them surface and dissolve naturally.
Follow your intuitive thread and see how you played your part in creating and responding to your reality. Writing down your insights enables you to see deeper that you were 100% responsible, as every person involved is totally responsible for their part.
Layers of emotions will surface. Let them. Remember to allow. Do not attempt to control or prove anything. Do not put a time limit on this process. Revisit each step as many times as required to reach clarity.
Have compassion and forgive yourself, everyone and everything involved UNTIL you transcend the habit of judging (an escape from responsibility) and reach complete clarity on your total participation in a past reality. It only reflected your inner state of being at that time. The beliefs, habits, self-image that you brought into this lifetime spilled over into your childhood and beyond. Accept and learn from these. They are clues to complete healing.
At some point, you will discover there is nothing to forgive after all—it was an experiment to point you towards the self that you came here to expose to the world in your own magnificent way.
Allow yourself to completely accept and love the past and yourself as you were. There is nothing mushy or dramatic about this. It happens naturally as you surrender to what was.
Appreciate yourself, everyone, everything involved in your yester moments—how perfectly ordered, loving, liberating the universe is; how you are free to create any experience you can imagine, always reflecting your state of being, the place in which you stand in awareness of the self.
Be grateful for the opportunity to experiment in playing the game of life as you see fit: discovering, awakening, unfolding more and more of the real you. Be grateful that past tense reality is not to be hoarded but to be released… deliberately.
Now you can love yourself deeply as you are. You can unconditionally share your love in thought, speech, intention, acts and attitude because you have achieved freedom from guilt, regret, blame, shame and arrogance. Your mind and body are present right here, right now. Everything you want is surrounding you. No more waiting, hoping, conniving. Limitless opportunities and possibilities, resources of every kind required, solutions, undiscovered ideas and ‘the right’ people surround you round the clock. Are you ready for this natural state of wealth and living?
When I approve of and accept myself as I was and for everything I did, then I can love myself as I am and enjoy what I am doing.
Tell me: what are your insights, experiences? I would enjoy hearing from you.
So post your comments below before you forget. And if you find something useful in this blog, why not subscribe so you can receive email notification each time I publish a post. Also, I would be highly honored if you recommended this blog to others who might benefit. Thank you in advance.
Men Readers: Your comments are valuable too & highly welcomed! ;-))
Shall we meet up again in a few days?
Image credit: Grave Digger, 3sigma.com
Copyright © 2010-2012 Thandiwe Chappot, thefemininefeminine®. All rights reserved worldwide.
Thank you & i ditto you on “embracing the ‘concept'” first.
GREAT post, Tandi, and *beautifully* written. I’ll link it to my next post on ADD & time (if I “ADD-out” and don’t, REMIND me with a link in the comments, and I’ll edit it in after-the-fact too).
I realize that, for YOUR readership, “time” isn’t a keyword they’d use to find a post like this one, but embracing the “concept” of time is necessary before one is able to wiggle out of its distracting straight-jacket – which is how I introduce ideas like the ones you so beautifully articulate above to my ADD readership.
Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, CMC, SCAC, MCC
– cofounder of the ADD Coaching field –
(blogging at ADDandSoMuchMore and ADDerWorld – dot com!)
“It takes a village to transform a world!”